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Mythos website and open beta

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Lara Croft and the Guardian of Light Review (MyGaming)

Mythos : Frogster Launches Site (eu beta reg open)

Warning, achtung, and whatever the Turian equivalent is (although Garrus’s irreproachable American accent suggests it’s probably something like “warning”). THIS ARTICLE CONTAINS LOADS OF SPOILERS ABOUT THE END OF MASS EFFECT 2*. Obviously. Stop reading here if you didn’t already know that Miranda turns out to be a guy.

Now, Mass Effect 2 can finish up in all sorts of ways, and most of them are bad.  For pathological completionists (or “Gamerscore whores”, in the vernacular), getting that “No one left behind” achievement is important business, and it’s harder than it looks. In the interests of promoting pathological completionism and important business, therefore, I’ve put together this compact, scientifically-proven, easy-to-use reference guide to saving everyone on your team, getting the mega super ultra happy ending, winning the universe, and adding 75 to your Gamerscore.

Starting off then, you must have the following Normandy ship upgrades:

1.    Thanix Cannon (available after recruiting Garrus)
2.    Multicore Shielding (available after recruiting Tali)
3.    Heavy Ship Armour (available after asking Jacob about upgrades)

Without these upgrades installed, you’ll lose three team members as soon as you jump through the Omega 4 Relay. Nobody likes a cheap bastard, and really, they’re going to die out of spite more than anything else.

Next, your team members must be loyal to you, and you should have most (preferably all) of their individual upgrades. This involves completing each team member’s special mission, but it’s also where things become a bit problematic. Unless you have an exemplary Renegade or Paragon score, you’re always going to end up with one each of the pairs Jack / Miranda and Tali / Legion (that’s either Jack or Miranda, and either Tali and Legion) not loyal to you. Don’t panic, this is okay. It’s also possible that Thane isn’t loyal because you’re crap at spotting targets or negotiating with stupid kids. Panic, this isn’t okay. You do keep saved games at the beginning of every single mission, don’t you? Of course you do. Go back to that, and don’t muck it up this time. Alternately, try and get him through the finale alive, and then post some defamatory post in the comments section about my questionable journalistic ethics and casual dissemination of outrageous lies. I’ll ignore you, of course, but I’ll slyly update the text in this article to make it look like I was right all along.

In the meantime, then, as long as everyone else, and one each of Jack / Miranda and Tali / Legion is loyal, you’re set to go. You can check your team members’ allegiance statuses (normal or loyal) on your private terminal.

HIT THE OMEGA FOUR RELAY (RELAY, RELAY, RELAY)

Once you’re done breaking about 50 million buckazoids’ worth of spaceship, you’ll be ready for the part that most people bugger up. It kinda looks like a multiple choice exam, but – like a proper multiple choice exam, actually - there’s absolutely nothing arbitrary about it. There’s probably a bit of wiggle space here, but the following options will 100% guarantee everything working out.

1.    Send either Tali or Legion (whoever is loyal to you) through the vents. When you get to play this section, keep a close eyeball on that team member’s status bar on the lower right of the HUD. If you take too long here to help them out, this teamie can still get shot in the face, regardless of how much they love you and want to be with you.

2.    Garrus leads the second team (both times).

3.    Send Grunt or Mordin back with the rescued crew.

4.    Samara (or Morinth, if you’re an evil perve) does the biotic bubble stuff.

5.    This particular option is also the most likely to have multiple successful combinations, assuming everyone with you is loyal. Jack or Miranda (whoever is loyal) and Thane make good company.

Technical note: It seems it’s possible for Mordin to die during the last cutscene, despite doing everything correctly. This is almost definitely a bug of some sort, although it might happen as a result of Garrus not being in the second team. But fortunately, because you’re following this really totally brilliant, amazing guide, Garrus will be in the second team. If this happens anyway, simply try reloading the last checkpoint, and playing it over again.

*(Ed. I stopped reading here)